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Therapy for Women Who Work Hard to Please Everyone but Themselves

I wrote a reflection journal. It's called You Have Nothing to Prove, and here's a peek inside. It's for women who are competent, responsible, and TIRED from doing too much (for others while doing too little for themselves). It's not motivational. It's not preachy. It's meant to offer a calmly structured place for (re)considering some things. If that sounds like something you, a client, or someone you love might need, it's available on Amazon now. LINK IN BIO

I do agree that love is everything, but everything is not love. In fact, many things done in the name of love are not love– at least not healthy love. Jealousy and possessiveness are not love. Control is not love. Dependence is not love. Enabling is not love. Self-sacrifice is not always love. Loyalty is not always love. “Forgiveness” is not always love. Struggle is not always love. With these things in mind, The Chrysalis Center, LLC is conducting a research project, THE BLACK LOVE INQUIRY. This project holds several intentions aimed at better understanding the concept of struggle love: - to explore the narratives, conditioning, and expectations that blind Black women to their innate value, especially in the context of romantic relationships - to provide insight into how the devaluation of Black women and the normalization of dysfunctional relationship dynamics contributes to the development and maintenance of unhealthy relational patterns - to provide direction toward denormalizing dysfunction within Black love in order to stop the transmission, perpetuation, and internalization of the damaging messages that prevent Black women from living in their worth If you are an adult Black woman with experience navigating “struggle love”, “situationships”, “ride-or-die” expectations, or a similar dynamic, I invite you to support THE BLACK LOVE INQUIRY and its intentions by sharing your story with me. The link to our interest form is in the bio! *** If you are interested in exploring this concept from a slightly different angle, check out THE STRUGGLE LOVE DIARIES, which is a series of fictional narratives inspired by the author’s real-life experiences. This is an interactive storytelling experience where you, the readers, decide the outcomes! We are currently following 29-year-old Essie as she decides whether to walk by blind faith or lean on a sense of discernment with Marcus, potentially a man of her dreams. Part three drops tomorrow– you can catch up on our website (link also in bio)! Then, follow us here on Instagram so you’ll know when the poll opens, and you can vote on Essie’s next decision! #strugglelove #blacklove #therapistsofinstagram

Them: What would you like to do/eat/etc.?⠀ You: I don't know. It doesn't matter.⠀ .⠀ If you really don't know, take the time to learn yourself because it does matter. If you do know, speak up for yourself. It matters. Your voice matters. Some people count on you not believing that your voice matters, but it does. ⠀ .⠀ #gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #emotionallydrained #emotionallybroken #emotionalmanipulation #overwhelmed #toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #toxicmarriage #toxicrelationshipsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticmother #narcissisticfather #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmanipulation #narcissisticmarriage #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #psychologicalabuse #psychologicalmanipulation #psychotherapy #onlinetherapy #virtualtherapy #batonrougetherapist #louisianatherapist #texastherapist

"Racism (the belief of racial superiority, and thereby, the right to dominate other races) is one psychic derivative through which narcissism may manifest itself." -from Racism: A Symptom of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Carl C. Bell, MD (1980)⠀ Back then, the criteria for NPD were as follows:⠀ "A. Grandiose sense of self-importance or uniqueness (this fits the racist's supposed racial superiority)⠀ B. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love (clearly, the wish to dominate another racial group fits here as well as the Malthusian principles of the rightness of whiteness and the Teutonic standard of white beauty)⠀ C. Exhibitionistic: Requires constant attention and admiration (such as wearing white sheets or swastikas)⠀ D. Responds to criticism, indifference of others, or defeat with either cool indifference or with marked feelings of rage, inferiority, shame, humiliation, or emptiness (the phenomena of white backlash and the feeling that blacks are being pushy)⠀ E. Two of the following:⠀ 1. Lack of empathy: Inability to recognize how others feel (racists could not possibly recognize how their "inferiors" feel otherwise they would not behave in such an unempathic manner)⠀ 2. Entitlement: Expectation of special favors with reactions of surprise and anger when others don't comply (racists are always surprised and angry when the "inferiors" don't accede to their wishes)⠀ 3. Interpersonal exploitiveness: Takes advantage of others to indulge his own desires or for self- aggrandizement, with disregard for the personal integrity and rights of others.⠀ 4. Relationships characteristically vacillate between the extremes of overidealization and devaluation (the characterization of blacks as being primitive and yet extreme amounts of cultural plagarism, ie, sun tan phenomenon)"⠀ **Criteria taken from the above-referenced article. Emphasis added**⠀ ⠀ #narcissisticabuseawarenessday #georgefloyd #racism #narcissism #gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #emotionallydrained #emotionalmanipulation #overwhelmed #toxicpeople #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticmanipulation #psychologicalabuse #psychologicalmanipulation

Just asking...⠀ ⠀ #gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #emotionallydrained #emotionallybroken #emotionalmanipulation #overwhelmed #toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #toxicmarriage #toxicrelationshipsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticmother #narcissisticfather #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmanipulation #narcissisticmarriage #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #psychologicalabuse #psychologicalmanipulation #psychotherapy #onlinetherapy #virtualtherapy #batonrougetherapist #louisianatherapist #texastherapist

Keep showing up -- even if that's all you've got right now.⠀ ⠀ #gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #emotionallydrained #emotionallybroken #emotionalmanipulation #overwhelmed #toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #toxicmarriage #toxicrelationshipsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticmother #narcissisticfather #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmanipulation #narcissisticmarriage #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #psychologicalabuse #psychologicalmanipulation #psychotherapy #onlinetherapy #virtualtherapy #batonrougetherapist #louisianatherapist #texastherapist

Having a certain title does not preclude a person from being a toxic element in your life.⠀ ⠀ #gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #emotionallydrained #emotionallybroken #emotionalmanipulation #overwhelmed #toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #toxicmarriage #toxicrelationshipsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticmother #narcissisticfather #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmanipulation #narcissisticmarriage #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #psychologicalabuse #psychologicalmanipulation #psychotherapy #onlinetherapy #virtualtherapy #batonrougetherapist #louisianatherapist #texastherapist

#gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #emotionallydrained #emotionallybroken #emotionalmanipulation #overwhelmed #toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #toxicmarriage #toxicrelationshipsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticmother #narcissisticfather #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmanipulation #narcissisticmarriage #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #psychologicalabuse #psychologicalmanipulation #psychotherapy #onlinetherapy #virtualtherapy #batonrougetherapist #louisianatherapist #texastherapist